Thursday, April 28, 2011

Tiny Wolf Twiggy

Today it is raining. The sky looks like an ashtray. I feel like an ashtray. Grey, murky, lost. Today I grapple with acceptance, self-doubt, regret, and wreckage of the past. They all lie in rusty heaps piled way up high. You can find them in a junkyard in some nook in my brain. Beware of the guard dogs, they eat people for snack food.

In 2005 I signed (spiritually of course) a very sacred maternal contract which has changed my life forever. Today, I am exhausted, wondering what my life would be like if only I had just waited a little while longer to introduce Twiggy to the world. I signed a contract not really giving much thought about what it truly takes to raise a child into a magnificent human being. I signed it not realizing just what exactly I was committing to. I totally failed to read the fine print.